This is the adorable little bacon chocolate bar from Vosges. What an idea: Bacon and chocolate! Oh my, that’s decadent. I probably wouldn’t eat it. But the packaging is so assuring. If the package was designed competently on a computer, you really know that someone cares about the food. Why else would they spend so much on a designer, and the photography, and the fonts?
And it’s at Whole Foods? At the coffee bar? Well, surely nothing at Whole Foods could hurt me. I think I’ll have a nibble.
Wow! It tastes just like a bacon bit, immersed in milk chocolate. It’s so much less risky than I thought.
I could probably eat thirty of them, while watching television. Thirty-seven if there’s something good on.
But wait, what’s this?
This is a rather untrustworthy character. I don’t think I’ve seen this before. I mean, I do like bacon, as the above entry establishes rather nicely, but this is some kind of super-bacon.
And it has some sort of bone in it. That’s a little strange. I don’t think bacon has bones.
I suppose I could eat around the bone. Hrmm.
Well. That does taste rather rich.
Couldn’t they have added some kind of curly font somewhere, so I would know that this is a food meant for me?
It’s served with hot sauce? Oh no, I shouldn’t.
Very well, if you insist.
That potato looks a little unstable. I mean, I’m sure it’s very nice, but it’s just a little rough around the edges.
Well, I guess I’ll give it a try.
Goodness. That is really something. I mean, I’ll probably eat it only twice in my lifetime, because it’s so rich in . . . death . . . but it really is something.
APPENDIX
1. The Calibella Panaderia serves breakfast almost all day.
2. The Mo’s Bacon Bar is available at Whole Foods and will inspire
you to buy your own bacon and chocolate and do it right.
3. There’s one good main reason that these two items are
in the same entry: I ate them within 24 hours of each other.
Actually, it was more like 14 hours. Pray for me.
