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A Guide to Non- Halloween Costumes

By evanjohnston

1. 15 Minutes into the Future. Set your watch ahead accordingly. Show up to party early.

2. Belief in a Different Religion. Express continual surprise at the fact that you’ve converted to [blank]

3. Belief in a Different Diet. Express continual surprise at the fact that you’re eating/not eating [blank]

4. Drunk and Clumsy. Stumble around, mutter apologies. Express continual surprise at the fact that you’re drunk and or clumsy.

5. Without Glasses. Stumble around. Repeat aloud, “My glasses! My glasses!” (Do not apologize for any reason).

6. On the Run. “Hey, uh . . . can I borrow your costume? I’m kind of trying to avoid somebody right now. Thanks. Here’s five hundred dollars.”*

*Requires five hundred dollars.

7. Food Allergy. “No, I’m still me, but I’m allergic to all kinds of wheat and stuff.”

All of these costumes can be combined to form a truly confusing Halloween night.

This entry was posted on October 28, 2008 at 6:44 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

One Response to “A Guide to Non- Halloween Costumes”

  1. IN WHICH WE CELEBRATE THE ARRIVAL OF THE FALCON HALLOWEEN COSTUME « Never Question My Methods Says:
    October 22, 2009 at 3:50 pm | Reply

    [...] I prefer simpler approaches, like just turning your watch back about ten minutes, and saying that you are yourself, ten minutes [...]

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